


Extermination

by quiet__tiger



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Tongue-in-cheek, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 05:39:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10713327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiet__tiger/pseuds/quiet__tiger
Summary: Joker takes care of vermin in the park.





	Extermination

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Birds."
> 
> Originally posted to Livejournal 27th-Jan-2009.

It was a warm day in July when Joker finally couldn’t stand the pigeons in the park anymore. The incessant cooing, their beady eyes bright as they clucked in fine feather, it all annoyed him.

And though he couldn’t prove it, he swore one of them made that mess on his car.

What could he do but make the chirping stop, redesign those beaks and everything underneath into something more pleasant, more to his liking?

They never suspected the ice cream man with his cart was really the Clown Prince—neither did the actual ice cream man suspect the wino shuffling in his direction was really the Clown. The birds cocked their heads at him, confused and frightened by his joy over jangling the bell on the cart.

None in the clutch had time to take flight before he took his gun out of his jacket and shot them all. Joker Gas filled the air a second before the sound of screaming.

Hooting with laughter, he watched the suffering, contorted faces freezing in tormented grins as final breaths were gasped.

That’ll teach them to squawk twice a week in his favorite part of the park, talking poetry and men and jobs like any gaggle of girls! Do it elsewhere! The benches here had the best view of the bat boxes, and he enjoyed watching Batsy’s friends. And killing them if the mood struck.

He still giggled as he ran away, dodging onlookers and would-be saviors rushing towards the dead chicks. He almost doubled over again at the futility of their running.

He just lived for larks in the park!

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry. Once I got started I kind of got in a groove with different word definitions and puns related to "birds." Who knew there were so many that could describe a group of women?


End file.
